I came across your website by some unknown way but my question to you guys is that I am 19 years old and I have never had sex nor have I been in any relationship so far. But I have been in the habit of masturbation since I was 13 or 14 years old I guess. Some years ago I used to masturbate almost every day and sometimes it used to be 2 or 3 times a day. I remember that initially my masturbating sessions used to last very long even to the point when I had to force my mind for ejaculation. But now I ejaculate even when I do not want to. I ejaculate in a couple of minutes. So please advise me that is this really a problem that will affect my sex life with whatever woman I will settle with or is this just a phobia? If this is really a problem, is there any way to cure it?
In a very simple explanation, you have trained your body to ejaculate quickly over the years. You’ve discovered what gives you pleasure and brings you to the explosive climax of ejaculation easily. This is fine if all you are wanting is a quick release of sexual tension, or a fast way to get to climax, but as you are so wisely perceiving, it isn’t what you want to do when you are making love with a woman. Women generally take much longer to become highly arouse and to reach orgasm than men do, so it is important for a man to be able to take his time with a woman and not get to ejaculation before they’re both ready.
Fortunately, you can retrain your body to take longer as well, so that if you want to come quickly you can and if you want to last longer you can.
We have some excellent short articles that we’ve written about mastery your ejaculation response. They give you simple practices and techniques.
Here are links to 2 of them
- »Ejaculation Mastery«
- «Voluntary Ejaculation»
If you want more training and detailed information you’ll be interested in our ebook «Voluntary Ejaculation and Male Multiple Orgasms»
Follow up question:
I really appreciate that you took out time to reply to my question. What I understand from your reply is that it implies that I can actually retrain my mind and body for prolonged stimulation to my penis. I read the articles that you had posted and the question that occurred after reading them is that after dedicating sufficient amount of time to my retraining, will I ever be able to go back to the natural time that I had, before I started masturbation, so that I will never have to pay attention to my body and mind and make love endlessly? By that I mean that after retraining, my body will get used to the new habit of prolonged sessions of stimulation and a time will come after which I will no longer have to pay every detail during lovemaking like for example breath, arousal etc?
I could not predict your outcome. It all depends upon your disciplined effort to train and the level of mastery you are able to attain. But there is every reason to expect the basic answer to your question is yes, you will be able to gain sufficient mastery of the ejaculation response to be able to last in lovemaking as long as you and as long as your partner wants to last.